Full Circle

This season has been slow on the water. In some ways I needed a break from the work but not the water. I've actually begun to enjoy it for myself which was sorely lacking.

I remember when I started the first water job. I was curious but scared and then I grew to love it. Not being out there on a regular basis made me feel unbalanced. 

But being out there for work is one thing. To enjoy it only for yourself is another. Something I'm realizing this season especially the last week.

Decided to buy that annual pass to Florida State Parks as a late birthday gift. Its already been a godsend. Early morning meditation and swim starts my day off in a way I've been craving. 

The meditation I love began on a beach in Ecuador. It feels so much fuller doing it outside looking at the water. Wonder if that's because of how it all started. 

This morning as I struggled to get past some of the goofy conversations from nearby cruise ship visitors. I started thinking of the beach in Ecuador. Of all the stuff that's happened since then. Of where I am now and I felt grateful.

I got in the water and noticed a large storm cloud starting to gather behind the beach. When the darkness built and a water spout in the far distance showed its reach, I was like a kid asking its mother for just five more minutes. I didn't want to get out just yet.

The sun stayed clear as the clouds came near and a rainbow ring glowed around it. It made me smile and let me know someone was listening. 

Therapy

I'm definitely getting that season pass.

buzzzzzzzzzzz

Palate Cleanse

Work + Wine tasting + T-shirt photo shoot at the Bodega = one run to the Green Parrot. 

No one was in there except us. Summer is officially here.

Bloomin' Beauties

Don't know if you've ever been to the MARC house in Key West but its definitely worth a visit. They have the best gardening stuff. 

A walk through the Orchids can just lift your spirits but the best thing is if you buy something there it goes to a great cause.

Recently the state just cut funding for the MARC house which helps people with developmental disabilities. Its a great organization and a wonderful place to spend some money, especially now. Looking for a flower for someone, well this is the place.

I got these beauties today and can't wait to start planting more.

In the midst of on the road to moving some of this funk out. This is just a part of the plan. Plants!

I live in an apartment that feels like a treehouse which makes me very happy. Widows all around and trees surrounding it. It's not huge but its just perfect for me and I love coming home to it. 

Been meaning to get some more leaves in the house and the MARC house has everything I need and more. 

Starting to get in a groove again I think. I figure everyone gets in a funk from time to time, right? So why not share what helps. Here's what's currently helping mine:

#1 Red Tara meditation - This thing has been my clarity through thick and thin. Once I do it, things seem to make sense. Always.

#2 Kundalini Yoga - Its strange but beautiful and makes me feel like I've just hit a reset button.

#3 Swims at Ft Zach - Just being in salt water makes me feel like a new person. Such calm and buzz I'm considering buying a pass to the park. When I can't make it to the park, I soak in Epsom salts at home. 

#4 Good healthy food. Fruits, veggies, chocolate covered almonds. Yum.

#5 Laughter and acting stupid with good friends 

Mostly I'm just trying to do what I think feels good in the moment and it seems to be working. 

So here's to shaking some of that funk outta the trunk. Happy Bloomin' Wednesday, yo.

Shhhhhhhhh

In between my tiny sombrero days, I usually enjoy a nice long quiet one. Honestly after talking to people all day long in both jobs a lot of times I just like to not talk to a soul.

Finished my last book and found a random new one which is pretty good so far. Its called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"

Seems we shifted from a culture of character to a culture of personality sometime around the turn of the century. And that coincided with advertising. 

Advertising it appears was indeed created by Satan. 

Now a days, it seems like people just talk with nothing really to say. They can't sit still in their own skin long without a Kardashian style response. 

Might be more of an American thing as I was informed by one British customer last night after he complained about the room he sat in being too loud from all the Americans that can't stop talking over one another.

But not all Americans. Before the Brit, an American couple thanked me for taking food to a table which immediately made a certain rowdy bunch lower their volume. Food going into mouths does tend to do that unless you're a spitter. 

I concur! Quiet is sometimes just what we need.

Must have been why when our very overly talkative co-worker last night kept asking me if I needed anything to the point of insanity. I finally asked for him to stop talking.

It worked. Thanks Quiet!

Viva La Tiny Sombrero!

If you ever need a little pick me up in life. Just get yourself a tiny sombrero.

I got this one at the toy shop in town for Fantasy Fest thinking I'd use it once. I now seem to stick it in my purse for all kinds of functions. Hell, the tiny sombrero may get you invited to some.

That's how I ended up going to dinner with my good friend Eric. He saw a comment I posted on a friends Cinco de Mayo bar pic. Essentially that pic was a drunk cat with tequila bottles and this exact sombrero. 

After Eric saw me tell that drunk cat to gimme my hat back. It suddenly spurred him to ask me about dinner. Which is amazing cause I had feeling I needed an Eric fix lately.

Eric is my art buddy. We talk about all kinds of stuff and usually like the weird stuff best. The conversation goes all over the place and ends up with some kind of creative manifesto about life. If you do not have a friend like this go out and get yourself one now.

So we had some serious discussions when I decided it was time to pee. As I waited for the ladies room door to open, a tiny sombrero came peeking out. An older lady had on my hat!!!

I complimented her on her tiny sombrero and shared that I had the same one. After finishing my business, I hurriedly ran out and dug into my purse to grab said sombrero and put it on. 

Eric immediately says "Why have you been holding out on us with that?!" 

"I totally forgot about it until I saw a lady in the bathroom with the same exact hat!!!" I said scanning the room for her. 

Now this is an "upscale steakhouse" and you'd think it'd be easy to find an older lady in a tiny sombrero pretty quick, but alas no. She disappeared. The only time I had a lady disappear on me like this was when I was 5 and she was a ghost holding a candle. 

So this wonderful lady is now my sombrero godmother. Yes, you read that correctly. Sombrero Godmother.

While sitting at the bar feeling suddenly festive, attractive young couples would pass and say seriously "Wow, that is a great hat." in a very serious voice.

And my response would be "Why thank you would you like to try it on? It makes everyone happy"

They would intially resist. Say that it wouldn't fit but I assured them it was a child's hat, I bought it at a toy shop and it fits EVERYONE. A bunch wore it and immediately turned to their significant other with a smile. Somewhere in the distance you could hear someone yell out "GREAT HAT!".

So the morale of the story is get your self a tiny sombrero. And maybe a drunk cat to hang out with.

THE END.

The Roller Coaster Effect

That's what life has felt like for the past month or so. Up, down, UP, down. 

Here's what that feels like:
Imagine parasailing as you float dangerously close to the water. Just as you wonder when you'll drown, you get yanked up so hard and fast your laughter erases it all.

Yesterday it was monsoon season and I was happy as a lark. The day started with a nice paddle board tour and I was up early setting up gear without a soul around. It was peaceful; the water delightful.

I even enjoyed biking home in torrential rain and monumental floods. Something about water these days, in any form, that makes me happy.

Today the sun is shining and I feel like crap. Blinds down, hermit on. That will need to dissolve in one hour as I gots to head into work. 

There's one thing that doesn't go well with hermit and that's service industry work.

It crushes me at moments to think about dealing with people when I feel like this. But then that kind of work and being with people, ultimately brings me out of it. How ironical.

The last trip home was hard but not in the way I thought it would be. I guess I'm still dealing with the fallout of some "not so great stuff" with my dad.

What I've learned from cancer is sickness can either bring people together or tear them apart. My father is not an easy man to deal with. Never has been. We have very different attitudes on life.

Now through two times of cancer with mom I see that I am done. Done trying to help him or try having him in my life. It is strange to admit but a relief to release it. Finally release the hope that things could get better. 

It is what it is and I don't want to partake of it anymore.

Didn't have time to deal with it at home so I do it here now. It comes up at random times and has its good days and not so good days. 

But when I do feel like crap, I just have to remember to give it a minute cause it will change. And it always does. Everything changes - constantly. 

So in the meantime, I'm finding new books on beetles and reigniting my love affair with bugs. Wearing tiny sombrero hats to fancy Aids Help dinner events. Getting up on stripper poles at biker bars. And contemplating if I would have enough time to sit on a sand horse and escape the hotel grounds as soon as someone sees me doing it. 

I will get there. I know I will.