Go Fetch!

Don't know who was having more fun. 

This guy or his dogs?

Happy Labor Day

Trust the Process

is all I'm hearing and seeing today. 

Excuse Me...

Last night a little boy not more than five years old stopped eating his dinner to turn around and ask me a question.

"Excuse me" he politely said to get my attention.

"Yes?" I said turning around.

"What does that mean?" he said pointing to a large painting of a woman on the wall wrapped in cloth unraveling.

"What do you think it means?" I asked loving where this was going.

"I think she's trapped and trying to escape. A ghost has captured her and she's trying to get free" he articulated perfectly.

"Hmmmmm. That's good. Could be..." I said delighted at the thoughtfulness of this little boy.

"Well, maybe its a woman who's actually a crocodile and she's trying to get back to her swamp that's right behind her?" 

His eyes widened and he took a moment. 

Then I began to ask him what he thought of some of the other paintings and loved listening to his explanations. 

"What do you think of that one?" I asked about a semi-random portrait we all refer to as Dr. Ballchin for reasons I think you can guess.

"That's just silly." he said like a seasoned art critic.

That kid made my night. 

Been loving the people I've gotten to chat with lately. Especially that kid.

Turistas

Pre-work swim. 

That park pass continues to be my sanity.

and entertainment.

Pictures

I love pictures.

Like LOVE pictures. Looking at one I can step back into that point in time; that feeling; that memory and it soothes me. 

My artwork has a similar effect. But I think I need to know their limits.

Its been a course of letting go lately and I've been having all kinds of strange stuff happening while trying to let go of old pictures. This week its been dreams.

Dreams like watching a cruise ship sink like the Titanic and feeling bad for the people trapped inside. Ending up at an old concentration camp at night walking through a caged bridge walkway. Biking at dawn to the airport through the desert to catch a flight. 

This morning I woke up not knowing where or what day it was and which job I needed to be at. Such an odd feeling but also kind of amazing.

Been feeling a little funk lately. Lots of stuff processing and I think moving out. Funk comes with that territory usually but so does awareness.

It seems to be another round of learning how to live in the now. I didn't know how much I loved living in those pictures or at least trying to until lately.

Those pictures while lovely have limits. You cannot go back into them no matter how much you try. And that's a good thing.

Let the past be in the past cause to go back is limiting. You only want to match that picture and end up allowing no room for anything else to develop. 

To be now is limitless. Seeing things as they are in the present, accepting that and being open to all possibilities. 

My temprement has bounced between the two the past week and know what I've found? 

When I try to live in the past:  I'm closed off. angry. anxious. exhausted.

When I live in the present: I'm open, aware, limitless, loving. alive.

While doing the latter I'm finding I can talk more openly, accept more honestly and most importantly live.

So while I love those pictures, I'm going to have a healthy respect of what they are. And keep on creating more.

Amazing

Riding home tonight after work listening to Nat King Cole's "the very thought of you" while watching clouds, stars and flashes of lightning over the ocean.

This is why I don't own a car.

Balsamic Moon

They say today is a balsamic new moon. A good time for endings and letting go. 

Right on schedule. 

This year continues to be a review of things from the last eight and the growth along the way. Revisiting ghosts of the past and difficult times to finally say goodbye.


Recently realized I was trying to fit back into a life that didn't necessarily fit me well, but still wanted to try. And having bodily pains while trying.

I spoke up for it from my heart. Because my heart wanted to see if that life would really be the one I thought it to be. 


Funny thing is time moves on and with it us. Guess I didn't realize how much until I looked back.

What I discovered is that this life, the one I thought was so wonderful, doesn't exist anymore.

And the kicker when I think about it... is it might never have.

What's next, I don't know. But now there's space for it to grow.

After Work

This is usually the kind of thing I encounter after getting off work. Can you say the same?

Good friends in homemade sparkle capes wanting to do a photoshoot on the back of some random dude's car. 

Went to have one and see the band with my friend and his pregnant girlfriend who's due date was at midnight. 

God bless the Green Parrot.