Pictures

I love pictures.

Like LOVE pictures. Looking at one I can step back into that point in time; that feeling; that memory and it soothes me. 

My artwork has a similar effect. But I think I need to know their limits.

Its been a course of letting go lately and I've been having all kinds of strange stuff happening while trying to let go of old pictures. This week its been dreams.

Dreams like watching a cruise ship sink like the Titanic and feeling bad for the people trapped inside. Ending up at an old concentration camp at night walking through a caged bridge walkway. Biking at dawn to the airport through the desert to catch a flight. 

This morning I woke up not knowing where or what day it was and which job I needed to be at. Such an odd feeling but also kind of amazing.

Been feeling a little funk lately. Lots of stuff processing and I think moving out. Funk comes with that territory usually but so does awareness.

It seems to be another round of learning how to live in the now. I didn't know how much I loved living in those pictures or at least trying to until lately.

Those pictures while lovely have limits. You cannot go back into them no matter how much you try. And that's a good thing.

Let the past be in the past cause to go back is limiting. You only want to match that picture and end up allowing no room for anything else to develop. 

To be now is limitless. Seeing things as they are in the present, accepting that and being open to all possibilities. 

My temprement has bounced between the two the past week and know what I've found? 

When I try to live in the past:  I'm closed off. angry. anxious. exhausted.

When I live in the present: I'm open, aware, limitless, loving. alive.

While doing the latter I'm finding I can talk more openly, accept more honestly and most importantly live.

So while I love those pictures, I'm going to have a healthy respect of what they are. And keep on creating more.