Angry Toddler Time

Exhaustion. Fumes.

The holiday crowds haven't let up a bit. In fact they keep getting bigger to my surprise. Took on an extra shift for a co-worker who needed to attend to a family emergency this week and reached my breaking point at approximately 9:54pm last night.

As I watched my entire section get up and then get filled yet again all at once, I had a meltdown. Right after I had a full round of bizarre food allergies and mathematician feats of splitting checks with decks of unknown gift card balances and an array of single lady credit cards.

Ever have mental and physical exhaustion show up as an inner angry toddler? 

What does that look like? Dropping f-bombs at a wall and saying aloud "I have to get out of here" over and over again while standing next to your manager. 

Basically having your whole body, mind and soul scream with a resounding NO. NO, I am not doing this. NO way. NO how.  

As my concerned co-workers watched my evolution into the Incredible Hulk, they asked if there was anything they could do. I could not answer or had no clue where to start due to blinding toddler rage. So I let it have its fit for a minute, sucked it up, stuffed a smile on my face and went through another theatrical reading of "What's good here?" to the newly seated masses.

Its not that this is uncommon or bad. Its just that I'm tired with a capital "T" and that makes a huge difference.

Realized just how tired on Sunday when I couldn't form coherent sentences while talking to my sister about how to word things on her resume. My mind had shut off for the day and it refused to come back on. It does that. So does my body.

I am not a robot. When I reach robot status, my mind and body revolt.

Its ok, I got it all out. There is plenty of good going on too. 

A trip off the rock in a week to get some much needed reboot time. A.K.A. De-robotizing time.

Applying for a space in a local artisan fair and realizing I have plenty of stuff to show but also I've got lots of ideas and plans for much more.

Taking a look at my flights for a yoga/art retreat in Bali and figuring out if I can sneak out to see Hong Kong on my overnight layover. Hong freaking Kong. A place I never even thought about going to. If I'm excited about a layover, imagine what the actual trip will be like.

Learning how to again fully participate and drive my retirement planning in a non-corporate environment. (Yes, you still need to plan for retirement in paradise according to my midwest sensibilities). 

I don't know why they teach home economics in schools. Give me investment classes and car mechanic schooling. If you're hungry or need a button sown, a natural human instinct kicks in or you visit a Circle K.

So what's on the day off docket? Appeasing my inner toddler which includes a trip to Old Town bakery for some pastries and coffee. Escaping into some awesome library books. Painting and creating while enjoying the moody clouds. And the adult in me will be doing some laundry cause my toddler needs some clean work clothes and undies for tomorrow.

Above are some pics of the water whilst on a dusk bike ride on my night off. The water was so incredibly beautiful it was hard to capture on camera. Never thought to describe it this way, but the shimmering rainbow coloring looked like an oil slick. 

Minus the oil.