A Tale of Two Mortgages

This has been one of the more stressful weeks I've had in a while.

First off, let me say they should be teaching Finances in high school and beyond. Fuck Home Ec.

Car mechanics 101, retirement planning and how to buy a home should be the foundation of life learning for high school seniors and college graduates. 

If you are hungry you'll figure out a way to eat. 

A visit to the Circle K for Cheetos or such. If you can't manage your finances right, you can't buy those Cheetos.

Ok, so I've been shopping for mortgages. Had a steady bank guy I had been working with. While asking if he could do better on the rates and him saying no, I decided to check out another guy.

Second off, I cannot fathom how people have affairs.

This week I bounced between the two asking questions, making contact and trying to understand their Good Faith Estimates with figures that shifted and swirled with each conversation. It was like a carny shell game.

My father is an insurance man and has ingrained in me that you never sign something unless you have read and understood it.

So here I am at midnight the night before a meeting reading through a HUD booklet with size 3 font trying to understand these forms and the figures in it.

I think I'm going with one guy only a mere 24 hours to decide on the other.

"What's he offering you? I can do better." 

"We've been working on this from the start. Don't leave"

"He's not as good as I am. I can do better."

My stomach turned with each new conversation. 

I have never cheated on a boyfriend before and after this whole process I wondered why anyone would. The sex must be fantastical.

But even with that, its so much effort to keep things balanced. Too much spun out energy - you don't know which way is up. It tore me apart thinking I was with one, only to decide I was going with the other.

Inspection day and I finally see that the guy I had been with from the start was who I wanted to be with. He was solid. I could understand him. He cared.

The other guy while charming was the carny shell game. I'll make you the better deal but I can't really explain how. You know I'm better, just believe the smoke and mirrors. I'm fun! Its all good...

Relieved to have finally made a decision and ready to get things moving on the right track again. I inform both of them of my decision.

The steady bank guy is excited to have me back on board. I put him through the paces for sure but it was only for evaluations sake and the shopping process which those HUD booklets say you must do for this big of a purchase. 

The other guy...Well after telling him with much consideration I decided to stick with my guy. I got some nasty emails.

"How could you? This makes no sense!" "This won't work. You'll be back!"

I felt bad and my week long heartburn flared, but I was a consumer making one of the bigger decisions in my life so far. Why wouldn't I shop and weigh the options offered?

At work and worried about some of the things he was saying I called my banker. "Look, he's been saying this about you. I really want this place and I need to know you're going to do it right."

He assured me it was going through. All the hard work we've done is good. He also wished this guy would stop trying to scare me. 

So, I didn't respond to those nasty emails. Which also made me feel the other side of some of the relationships I've had. Understanding the silence a bit better.

I finally chose the solid one. No more smoke and mirrors for me.

Onward...Now lets lock in that rate.