Memory Lane

The Jetta got its death sentence this week.

I found out just how attached I was to my car and my mechanic was equally as surprised as I was.

"Really?" with a look of shock was the response I got from him when I told him I wanted to have it checked out one last time. "Really?" was the response when I told him how attached I was to it. He obliged and as I watched it sputter and conk out as it was driven into the garage, I already knew the answer.

"What do I do with it?" I asked meekly.

"The junkyard." he said matter of factly.

I had to hold back the tears and when he told me he'd take care of it for me, I quickly took him up on it. I told him I couldn't bear to watch someone haul it to the junkyard. Thanked him for looking at it and cried all the way home. Oh good lord, it was time to mourn the beast and all that it had ever done for me.

In cleaning it out for its destruction, tears quickly turned to laughter as I found a whole array of pictures and trinkets from out 13 year stint together. My favorite was a bumper sticker that said "Can't Sleep. Clowns Will Eat Me". I had no idea where it came from but it made me laugh out loud.

Pictures of where I'd been starting when I got the car - my exodus from New York, up till now. So much has happened. I could see the progression from then to now. A couple things I realized, there's been a lot of road traveled and I had a lot of random adventures. Had fun with the cleanup and am ready to let it go. In Buddhism, they say that something cannot truly transform until its destruction so I will be thinking of that as it goes off to that big car wash in the sky.

Riding around town on my bike has always been my main mode of operation. Right now spring has sprung with lots of vibrant blooming trees. I love the fallen decomposing flowers the best. They're so beautiful.

As I was taking pics, this shmoopy German Sheppard came up to me. He looked like he was wandering so I called the number on his collar. His owner was at work but chatted with me like I knew her. She lived just across from where I found him and her kids must have not locked up the fence. Could I please bring him over to her apartment so the kids could get him?

As I walked him over looking for his home, he beat me to it and pushed the fence in letting himself back in. I love that about this town. Even if you don't know someone, it feels like you do.

Had a couple cool things happen at work this week.

Usually you chat up people about their vacation and what they do. I've never really had it happen in such depth to me this week. Just going about my business at the restaurant and after a patron complimented me on my necklace he asked what I did. I told him this and the tours but he pressed on. "What else?" he asked.

"Well.. I'm an artist." I said

"I knew it!" he exclaimed happily. "You have that vibe".

It took me back a bit. I've been pegged a lot of things but never an artist unless they've seen me in action. He was a musician and he totally got the whole restaurant gig and side jobs that artists usually exist in. We had a good chat and I gave him some places to visit to get his culture on.

Next up another couple asked me how I ended up down here. I shared the cliff notes version and we got to chatting about how Key West really had something special. How people were so nice and interesting. It amazed me how these people got it. They seemed deeply touched by the community and planned on staying here next winter. I also gave them some favorite places to visit and check out.

They were mostly curious about how I made the decision to jump ship and come down. It came out so easy it surprised me. I told them I wasn't happy working in corporate life and decided I wanted out. I wanted to find what made me happy. Life's too short to be unhappy in waking life. You've got to find what you love and do it. Things get so much easier after that.

Seems simple enough but sometimes it's a long hard road to it.

I forgot how long it's taken to get to this place and how foreign that old life now is. You don't have to be a corporate drone. In fact these days I think it's harmful to your well being.

Been setting some new stuff up. Got a couple paintings I had hanging in a local shop and decided that I finally needed to take my own advice to people and sell online. That's in the works as of this week too. Its been a rapid clearing of the decks left and right. Everything has been working in synch. It's all flowing naturally. No push. No pull. I like it.

And each week there is a new skill to be learned. This week - how to get rid of a drunk guy hitting on you.

I'm surprised I never thought of this before. After work drink and down time with some friends at the Parrot, one drunken dude came right up and wouldn't stop. I tried to talk to him to like a normal person and that lasted approximately 2 minutes. The guy I talked to in those two minutes was nice and actually sweet.

The drunken frat boy that wanted to get laid and wouldn't quit was not. As he kept pushing, I realized this wasn't going to ever end. So after he complimented me about being one foxy lady, I asked him what he would think if I told him I had a penis.

The look of shock was priceless.

"No!" he kept saying as he stared at my crotch.

"Yep." I said. "My name is Gary and I like to tuck and roll."

I took it one step further and told him to come see me Sunday night at 801 when I moderate Drag Bingo.

The calm I had been looking for post-work lasted about 5 minutes. Then to my surprise he kept at it. The only time it stopped after he told me he had a boat for about the 500th time was when he mentioned he was 30 years old.

"No, you're not." I said laughing "You are at least 36 if not older."

"I'm 30." he said very seriously. So seriously I actually thought he sobered up briefly

"Really? Prove it. Let's see some ID." I challenged him.

"I gotta go." he said bolting for the door.

Spring Break 2011 and the first person I bust for lying about his age is an overgrown frat boy who thought my name was Gary.

Key West, I love you.

Act Your Age

Act your age. That's all I can think in this past month or so.

 

You probably think I'm talking about the 20 somethings that migrate down here this time of year for spring break. Nope, I'm talking about the middle aged adults. I am surrounded by them in my compound and beyond and they're borderline idiots. Think all the people who go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. One night last week I heard a middle-ager brag to a friend over the phone how they got so drunk and watched the Food channel all night long. 

Then of course there was the 2am wake up call from a Fargoesque sounding middle aged Midwestern woman yammering on about something to her equally drunken adult friends. A quick scream of "SHUT THE HELL UP!" cured it.

On the other hand the 20 somethings are a pleasure to around. Some of the most polite, nicest, 20-year olds I have ever met. I was never that polite at their age as I think to myself while being surrounded by them in town. I'm currently meeting more 22 year-old guys than when I was actually a 22 year old myself. They're too frickin' cute. Just like cute little puppies. Chiseled, hairless puppies. 

One came in this week with his parents for dinner. My manager gave me the table since he was good eye candy. "Your future ex-husband at table 12." he said as he directed me to take the table. 

He was a tall drink of water but the thing that stunned me more was how articulate and polite he was. I carded him cause it's that time of year and plus I wanted to see how old he was (22). Afterwards my manager swung by the table fully enjoying the show and said "Don't think you're special cause she cards everyone." 

The polite hunk looked a little disappointed and sheepishly said "Oh, I thought I was lucky." I responded with a flirty "Oh, you are lucky." which got a happy surprised look from him and subsequently a different surprised look from his mom sitting to his left. It took me a split second to gather where I was and what I was doing when I began to reel it in a bit after thinking this was a bad after school special. Hitting on a younger guy with his mom sitting at the table. Nice. Woo Hooo YO, Spring Break '09!!

Next up on Sunday, I was working the snorkel boat for a group of 20 somethings out for the day. Waiting again for the stereotypical yahoo spring breakers, I was surprised at how damn nice they were. They were even free diving and just out enjoying nature. One of the boys was looking for a place to lay down cause he had a "rough night". I told him to make sure he drinks lots of water since being on a boat isn't exactly where you want to be feeling sick. He immediately said "Oh yeah! Thanks!" and guzzled it down like a good boy should. Most adults wave me off when I suggest it and then puke all over the side about 20 minutes later. These kids are freaking me out.

 

While tying up the boat, I was leaning over the front trying to hook the mooring line. There's no bar to protect me from falling in but it's pretty easy. I started to lean over to reach down when I caught one of the boys running over to grab the back of my shirt. He looked a little freaked out and then I realized, he was worried I was about to fall in and was trying to keep it from happening. He kept holding onto my shirt until, I turned back, smiled and told him I was ok. TOO CUTE. Seriously.

 

Talked to one of them on the way back and he asked me where to go in town and if I'd be out later. While these boys are real cutie patooties, I have lived my 20's and don't feel the need to go back there. I find myself thinking of the partying middle aged adults who are acting exactly like I would expect the 20 somethings to. 

Drinking all day, stumbling down streets, and hysterically crying about the AIG implosion like it was a bad breakup. All this done in their way too tight halter tops showing off the 20 something perky made fake boobs. It's pathetic.

I watched Superbad the other night. I haven't seen it since I saw in the theater a couple of years ago and it made me laugh so hard I was snorting. That was my spring break experience. The stupid situations you get yourself into to trying to get your hands on alcohol but unfortunately minus the McLovin'. 

Panama City was my spring break destination and I got there with a group of friends who crammed themselves into a very small car. We got thrown out of every place down there cause a majority of us didn't have fake ID's and were sneaking in. Had some really strange situations including getting stuck in a once in a lifetime Alabama snowstorm and a whole multitude of good stupid stories. 

Since I was always pretending to be who my ID was, I decided to take it up a notch and start creating different people I could be when I met guys at bars. My favorite one was Darla the New Jersey cosmetology student who's favorite movie was Milo and Otis. "You know, the one about the cat and the dog?" I said in my best New York accent. That's the way it should be in your 20's, you gotta get that shit out of your system otherwise it shows up later.

Which is exactly what I'm seeing with our tourist adults. I'm over it. You can't relive your youth. Deal with it. Stop running around in outfits you shouldn't be wearing drinking yourself into oblivion, it's not attractive in fact it's sad. This whole economic bullshit is because of this very notion - placing all your eggs in one basket and waiting until the end to live your life. Live it now, goddamn it - In the moment. You can't be 25 again you gotta be happy with where you're at now.

On a trip out to Hawaii a couple of years ago, I talked to an old man while I was waiting for the bathroom. He was making his first trip out there and standing in the galley cause he just couldn't sit anymore. He told me he should have done it when he was younger. He had waited till the end of his life to travel like this but now his body couldn't take it. He said "You're smart to do this now. Do it now while you can - don't wait." Let me tell you, it definitely made an impression. I want to do everything I can now. I don't want to wait till the end. Especially seeing the aftereffects of waiting and not being satisfied with the end result. It ain't pretty.

I cruise home after a chill night of work. My aging tourist neighbors are still drinking around the pool which started in earlier this morning. "How was work tonight?" they ask."Slow but that's cool. It's better than dealing with the crazy spring breakers." I replied. They ask me how it has been and I share with them that it's not the 20 year olds who are the obnoxious ones, it's the middle aged adults. They had a look of shock on their faces and one of them said  "Aw, come on!" 

I looked at them seeing what I had been seeing the last two weeks. Smiled, shrugged then took a sip out of my beer bottle while walking back to my cottage.

Come on 20 year olds it's time to unleash your inner McLovin'. You know you want to and it's for your own damn good.