The Nature of Nurture

As a part of the service industry down here, you are constantly taking care of people. Some days, its pretty damn easy and others not so much. 

After a full week of work, I tend to get sick of hearing my own voice asking people what they need or how I can help them cause lately it never seems to be enough. It can be exhausting at times to think of everyone except yourself.

On my days off I treasure the time I get to take care of me. If I start to get cranky or snarky I have to look at what I'm not giving myself and resolve it quickly. 

I guess that's the perk of dealing with toxic tourists who are perpetually unhappy with themselves and blame everything around them for it. 

If I ever start to become that, someone please shoot me.

On my days off, I can go a whole 24 hours not talking to a soul and be totally content. I make sure to spend those off days doing whatever it is that is going to make myself happy be it painting; riding my bike to glimpse the light at different times of the day or just eating a friggin' doughnut. 

It doesn't have to be monumental.

Bottom line is if we can't make ourselves happy, no one else is going to do it for us. People come down here and spend their one week off trying to get happy. It still surprises me that for a select few, they absolutely cannot do it. No matter how much help they get from others. 

These toxic tourists are land mines and its sometimes hard not to let them get to you. I'm sure you have people in your life like this as well. Its like a hole that keeps getting deeper no matter how quickly you try to fill it.

Last night I had two people that I had the good fortune of getting released from after I couldn't give them what they wanted. At first it annoyed me for a minute but then I was happy about it. 


Funny how they gave me exactly what I wanted most, which was to get rid of them and their ridiculous behavior. 

My other customers nearby were extra kind and complimentary especially after seeing the toddler tantrum my twosome were throwing, which I greatly appreciated. 

It's like murphy's law for these particular toxic tourists, whatever they need they can never ever get. Which mostly is to solve the unhappiness with themselves whatever that may be at the moment.


You can feel the trainwreck about to happen from a mile away and the best thing is to try to disengage knowing that they are getting it. It being the lesson they have not learnt yet and believe me it's a painful lesson for ALL of us.

Most visitors always ask how we locals ended up here, chucking "normal life" in order to have what looks like a non-stop vacation.

My answer to that is this:

A) Reality is how you perceive it. If you are in a hell of your own making, not even living in a tropical paradise will make you happy. You may even begin to see palm trees as pitchforks from Satan.

and 

B) If you just clarify what you need and take care of it yourself, you could be happy anywhere.

Now, time to go eat a doughnut.

Leaf Blobs

I could paint leaf blobs all day. 

It's what I always come back to. It makes me extremely happy. All the things that I have painted before look too tight to me right now. Too restricted.

I just want it to be messy. Bleed out and not make sense. Blend and bleed. No more thinking.  

Pee esS...: 

(The Mazzy Star station on Pandora is awesome.)

Melting

A couple of days ago, I wondered why I hadn't had any dreams lately. Funny how you can call things forth...
Last night I had two dreams where everything around me was melting. Mountains, people and places I knew. 

It was a strange feeling because I was traveling to a place where I was going to die and was ready for it.
  
Such an odd calming feeling to know these were the last steps towards this particular destination. It would all dissolve and while watching, knowing I would dissolve with it. It stuck with me a bit this morning after waking.

As usual, I like to look up dream meanings and here's what I found for "melting":


When you move toward intimacy, you may dream of something melting as a symbol of how your defense tendencies are breaking down. Anything melting in a dream personifies the 'thawing out' and new life of something that was previously frozen. Dreaming of melting can show the hardness of your self protective tendencies and how they are being made more solvent in preparation for opening.


Something I've been thinking about lately. I'm happy it is.

Here. Comes. 2012.

Holy. Holiday. Exhaustion.

Ready for the new year and new adventures. 

After moving a million miles a minute, last night it was nice to just make dinner, watch a movie and snuggle up at home. I slobbered my way through the Tree of Life and felt so calm afterwards.

Rest, but not for long...

Merry Christmas!

One more to go...

The white elephant gift. Got a whole stocking full o stuff for $2.49, including the stocking. My favorite part, releasing a brown ceramic cat from the Salvation Army pound.

Everyone needs some puppet scripts to act out bible verses.

Holidays down here are fun. That's right fun. Never thought I'd say that.

Working in restaurants and non-corporate places you quickly find that they have good events where people laugh, enjoy food, wine and general randomness.

There is no shortage of that down here and owners generously shut down their operations to do it up and celebrate. I'm always surprised when tourists get peeved when things are shut down while town's staff is out cavorting. I think cause we know how to do it right.

Appreciation is all I'm feeling right now. The gatherings and festivities just seem to echo it in all kinds different ways.

I love that when I asked my boss if we could have a Santa Pinata, she decided to make one and sent a picture of her in mid-process.

I love that I have met people I can talk and laugh with that actually understand me and vice versa. I have sat and listened to some of the funniest, weirdest stories in the last year that I can't seem to get enough of.

I love that I can go to my new local yoga place and get to take a class from my old roommate. Where I now open my chakras, I used to drink rum and have great conversations with an artist who first introduced me to watercolors.

I love that I can be invited to go to two friends book openings and enjoy art basel goodness in one month with my super talented artist friends.

I love that my own art is opening up as I learn to open myself up to all the good stuff life has to offer.

Indeed, its been a very good year.

Khristmas in the Keys

"Honey, Do you think we could swim to Stock Island? It looks simply magical..."

These inflatable things are all over town and they really creep me out mostly because all of the characters are deflated and dead on front lawns in the daytime. It looks like a giant cartoon crime scene every time I see them.

This is by far the best one I've seen.

Santa pooping in an outhouse.

There's one thing that's more funny than the Monroe county Sheriff car backed up to it. (That thing is going nowhere)

To the right of Santa is an inflatable Jesus manger scene. So basically, you've got Santa pooping right next to the birth of Jesus. Gotta love Khristmas in the Keys.

The epic battle rages on. Score one for Santa.

Darling Time : Art Basel

Art Basel with the Darlings. = Mucho fun + Lots o Art.

It was perfect timing to get out of town. My bike started making the worst squealing and creaking noises as I rode it around on my first day off. It sounded how I felt. My body was beat after a full week of work and wall of wind tours everyday. I needed some serious down time.

What to do??? Art Basel.

Driving has become sort of a strange thing to me now. I realized after getting a moving violation ticket, I haven't done it in a while. About 8 months to be exact. I'm not sure I really like it much anymore.

My coffee addiction finally got the best of me when I saw a Starbucks in Key Largo and made an illegal U-turn. If it helps my case any, I also had to pee. Figured I'd kill two birds with one stone but alas, the State Trooper was not amused. Especially when I told him about the pee.

Oh well, I think I got the best side of him that day as I'm pretty sure I passed him further down in Miami yelling at a fellow state trooper on the side of a highway. They were next to a bunch of ladies boots that looked like they fell off the back of a truck. I had to concentrate hard not to get distracted by all the suede boots strewn across the road.

Who knew driving took so much effort?

Jim and Tina were part of a group that graffitied an abandoned Subway tunnel for two days. It was a great show and this was one of my favorites from it. So crazy beautiful. I looked closer at it yesterday and I think she's got horseshoe crab legs!

Jim next to a giant cock.

I asked him to pose. He's good at it.

Teeny getting some props from the crowd.

When this dude showed up I tried to snap a quick pic but the flash went off.

I guess he noticed cause he came straight over and asked me if I got a good shot. I told him no and I needed a close-up. This is what I got. Creepy!

Old D-town friends checking out some crazy cool art at the Scope show.

Warehouse painting.

Jim and crew carrying supplies.

This building made me nauseous. But I love it.

All in all a great time.

Some random things seen in Miami in a day and a half:

Number One:

Seeing a car almost jump a curb after a collision and come super close to slamming into our outdoor dining patio while we were having lunch. A lady near the curb was talking on her cell and I thought it was going to kill her. She never flinched and she never once got off her cell.

Number Two:

Getting hit on by a guy in an SUV while waiting outside the motel for my friends before we all headed out. I blame my awesome Peruvian legwarmers.

Don't know what disturbed me more...That I got a drive-by pick up at a motel (a.k.a he thought I was a hooker) or that the guy originally thought I was wearing two casts and decided to come over. Who picks up a girl that is semi-immobilized?

Or number three which is utterly disturbing... Picking up a hooker with two casts. Aye Carumba, Miami! Gracias por un tiempo loco!

Onward to the next crazy event - the Santiagos Bodega Christmas Party.