Another...

Another frog jumped out at me from nowhere.

Dear Frog...

Are you trying to tell me something or are you just a stalker? Sorry I left you on the bike path that day but it appears you found your way.

Whatever you are, thanks for the smile today.

Frogger

Whilest taking a beach bike ride this morning, I found a friend along the path. 

I was weaving around joggers when I decided to look down at my arm and found this frog on it. It kinda looked like this guy I drew a time ago and it was looking directly up at me.

I'm not gonna lie. It scared the crap out of me that it came out of nowhere,  landed on my arm and was now staring into my soul. 


So as any girl would, I let out a little scream, instinctively shook my arm and it fell.

Feeling bad for my shock shake I went back to make sure it was off the path. I didn't want it to get hurt or squished but it totally disappeared. 

Don't know if you believe in totem animals or animal energy, but usually when one shows up in your life it means something. 

Here's the frog:

A frog symbolizes coming into your personal power, reminding you not to become bogged down with day-to-day living. You give support and energy where it is needed, and can cleanse the negativity from an environment.

Okey dokey. Thanks little buddy.

Party Train

Whoa.

I think I finally stepped off the holiday party train. Yes, I know. It's March. 

Guess I needed to blow off some built up steam. Umm...just didn't know that I had that much to blow off.  

Back to work and in work I mean my actual work, not the day jobs. 

Have begun to hear the travel drum beating. So looking forward to seeing how it all begins to take shape. Getting excited for the new possibilities and feeling the anticipation of diving into the unknown. 

All right, here we go.

I love...

...how one paddleboard tour with some nice people redeems my faith in people again.

I also love riding back from Stock Island pant-less so I can even out my farmers bike tan.

The Nature of Nurture

As a part of the service industry down here, you are constantly taking care of people. Some days, its pretty damn easy and others not so much. 

After a full week of work, I tend to get sick of hearing my own voice asking people what they need or how I can help them cause lately it never seems to be enough. It can be exhausting at times to think of everyone except yourself.

On my days off I treasure the time I get to take care of me. If I start to get cranky or snarky I have to look at what I'm not giving myself and resolve it quickly. 

I guess that's the perk of dealing with toxic tourists who are perpetually unhappy with themselves and blame everything around them for it. 

If I ever start to become that, someone please shoot me.

On my days off, I can go a whole 24 hours not talking to a soul and be totally content. I make sure to spend those off days doing whatever it is that is going to make myself happy be it painting; riding my bike to glimpse the light at different times of the day or just eating a friggin' doughnut. 

It doesn't have to be monumental.

Bottom line is if we can't make ourselves happy, no one else is going to do it for us. People come down here and spend their one week off trying to get happy. It still surprises me that for a select few, they absolutely cannot do it. No matter how much help they get from others. 

These toxic tourists are land mines and its sometimes hard not to let them get to you. I'm sure you have people in your life like this as well. Its like a hole that keeps getting deeper no matter how quickly you try to fill it.

Last night I had two people that I had the good fortune of getting released from after I couldn't give them what they wanted. At first it annoyed me for a minute but then I was happy about it. 


Funny how they gave me exactly what I wanted most, which was to get rid of them and their ridiculous behavior. 

My other customers nearby were extra kind and complimentary especially after seeing the toddler tantrum my twosome were throwing, which I greatly appreciated. 

It's like murphy's law for these particular toxic tourists, whatever they need they can never ever get. Which mostly is to solve the unhappiness with themselves whatever that may be at the moment.


You can feel the trainwreck about to happen from a mile away and the best thing is to try to disengage knowing that they are getting it. It being the lesson they have not learnt yet and believe me it's a painful lesson for ALL of us.

Most visitors always ask how we locals ended up here, chucking "normal life" in order to have what looks like a non-stop vacation.

My answer to that is this:

A) Reality is how you perceive it. If you are in a hell of your own making, not even living in a tropical paradise will make you happy. You may even begin to see palm trees as pitchforks from Satan.

and 

B) If you just clarify what you need and take care of it yourself, you could be happy anywhere.

Now, time to go eat a doughnut.

Leaf Blobs

I could paint leaf blobs all day. 

It's what I always come back to. It makes me extremely happy. All the things that I have painted before look too tight to me right now. Too restricted.

I just want it to be messy. Bleed out and not make sense. Blend and bleed. No more thinking.  

Pee esS...: 

(The Mazzy Star station on Pandora is awesome.)

Melting

A couple of days ago, I wondered why I hadn't had any dreams lately. Funny how you can call things forth...
Last night I had two dreams where everything around me was melting. Mountains, people and places I knew. 

It was a strange feeling because I was traveling to a place where I was going to die and was ready for it.
  
Such an odd calming feeling to know these were the last steps towards this particular destination. It would all dissolve and while watching, knowing I would dissolve with it. It stuck with me a bit this morning after waking.

As usual, I like to look up dream meanings and here's what I found for "melting":


When you move toward intimacy, you may dream of something melting as a symbol of how your defense tendencies are breaking down. Anything melting in a dream personifies the 'thawing out' and new life of something that was previously frozen. Dreaming of melting can show the hardness of your self protective tendencies and how they are being made more solvent in preparation for opening.


Something I've been thinking about lately. I'm happy it is.

Here. Comes. 2012.

Holy. Holiday. Exhaustion.

Ready for the new year and new adventures. 

After moving a million miles a minute, last night it was nice to just make dinner, watch a movie and snuggle up at home. I slobbered my way through the Tree of Life and felt so calm afterwards.

Rest, but not for long...