Friday, November 25, 2011

Gobble Gobble

Happy Turkey Day!

(Whoops! Blocked out the other dude)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Manatee Toss

I think I rode a manatee today.

My first tour group this morning started to ask about the possibility of encountering alligators. Something that gets asked a lot.

I quickly waved them off saying everything would be ok, not to worry and then not a minute later it happened.

While looking back at the group to make sure they were ok, I suddenly ran aground in the flats. At least I thought it was ground. Until it started thrashing.

Water blew up all around me and I proceeded to get bucked like I was riding a bull in a kayak. Gripped the sides of the kayak in order to avoid being launched and let out a good ole healthy scream in the process.

The kayak finally settled into its original position, the culprit had disappeared and the natural response for a group of first time kayakers is of course: "WHAT WAS THAT?!?"

"I have no idea!" I responded in partial shock and then just started to bust up laughing at how ridiculous the whole thing was.

It took a few minutes for me to stop the laughing and compose myself enough to ask: "Well...Are you ready to head out?"

Monday, November 21, 2011

Restaurant Life - Take Two.

Oh Green Parrot. Why does having one beer feel like you've drank a case the next morning? Add the Parrot to the energy/time vortex list growing on this island.

Its hard not to get a drink with the Boyz after work. Your choices for an after work aperitif are Don's, Bottle Cap or Green Parrot. Oh boy.

One beer you say. One soon leads to three especially after they both start sharing funny sex stories like a ping pong match with you sitting in between. Listening and laughing so hard I was crying in my beer. Is it possible to be amazed and horrified all at the same time? Yes.

As your co-worker on the left, keeps suggesting you should go out with the one on your right, you eventually have to share that you almost married a guy just like him. Surprise!

Hugs good-bye and leaving before it gets past 2am - good idea. Waking up with an energy hangover the next day that only a bike ride and a Sandy's sandwich can help cure. Oh Parrot P-rot, No more after work drinks for me for a while.

I will say, I am finding creative ways to integrate my restaurant outings though.

Like last night whenever the kitchen staff forgot to garnish something, I'd shake the plate and in a booming voice asked them to "make it rain, MAKE IT RAIN!". I'll keep that one. Thanks Bare Assets!

Sunday, November 20, 2011


Laughing while painting.
Always good.

You know what else makes me laugh?
Friending my Shaman on Facebook.

Got a Lama on speed dial too.
Gotta love spirituality in tech times.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

4 hours of paddling does the trick.

2 hour kayak tour +

2 hour paddleboard tour +

5 manatee patiently waiting for their turn to suck on a hose =

Sweet Sanity.

Thank you little baby Jesus for the water job cause it paddled out the crazy I saw last night. Such a weird evening fo' sure.

Now, to enjoy the much needed water buzz. Love how that works.

Tonight's thought is...

I wonder if waiting tables is anything like administering drugs in a psych ward?

When crazy comes out to play, it can be a bit jarring. And your job, if you choose to accept it, becomes to get them sedated as quickly as possible so they don't fling any poo your way.

There are two things that I find very grounding in this situation.

One: if you are this wound up on vacation - that's punishment enough.

Two: is having a strong feeling that the corporate structure as we know it in this country is quickly falling apart and they will soon get to feel what it's like to live in a service industry.

Since we don't produce much in this country anymore, I figure America is eventually gonna be one big friggin' Disneyland to foreigners.

Let me share a little secret...While crazy is coming out, most of the time I am picturing you miming "Would you like a cappuccino?" in Chinese.

For the most part, people are genuinely kind and good. Great people in fact that some days it can redeem your faith in humanity and you can feel the oneness. You get the sweet, syrupy over flowing just happy to be alive feeling. That's the good stuff.

And the others...well... it makes you wonder if people in this country aren't just losing their shit. It feels like a full moon... with a side of crack.

Leaving work tonight I get a friendly wave from the guy in Bahama Village I always pass on my way to work. He usually just smiles with a friendly wave and a big ole "HI!!" welcoming me into the neighborhood.

Tonight I'm grateful I get the gift of seeing him on the flip side.

"Don't worry! No one's gonna hurt you here. That's what we're here for!" he says with his familiar smile and wave that I love to see. I quickly smile, wave back and say "THANKS!".

Grateful for the kindness and the happiness which overflows from deep in his core.

Not five minutes later, I encounter a whole different two-some. One that wants to pick a fight as I try to quickly go around them while not disturbing their walking path.

Keep on keeping on, I say. I choose to let crazy go and enjoy the syrupy people.

Ah, the holidays are upon us...I better get my meds tray ready.

Friday, November 11, 2011


I've been having some crazy-ass dreams. Many of which have been coming true faster than ever before.

I'm really looking forward to when Johnny Depp shows up in Key West.

Eleven is a number of mastery. Sometime last year I had this elevator dream where there was a choice of two buttons to push - 10 or 11.

I thought of pushing 10 but for some reason at the last minute I chose 11 and as soon as I did, the elevator shot up like a rocket. I flew up to the ceiling and as I looked down at all the people in the elevator, they started screaming at me to make it stop. To their credit, the floor was twisting and starting to drop out.

So I hit 10. The elevator slowed down and suddenly I was back in an office job, sitting in a cubicle at a building that was falling apart. Think of that scene in Inception where they are walking down the beach and the skyscrapers are literally crumbling into the ocean.

All I could think of is - "How in the hell did I end up back here?"

It didn't matter much, because it wasn't going to be around much longer as I sat watching the walls crumble down around me. I wasn't scared. I was relieved.

Pretty much spells out the differences between 2010 and 2011 for me. In particular, my attempts to do things in an old way that never really worked.

So today is a day that everyone down here is getting married. They think its lucky. But does it really matter what day you choose to get married on? The real luck is finding someone you actually want to be with and enjoy.

A lady last week at the restaurant had just gotten married and said she did so in the most beautiful red dress. As she showed me a picture she explained she's from India and over there you only where white to a funeral. Quite an interesting take on weddings in the U.S. huh?

It was lovely. Probably the most beautiful wedding dress I'd ever seen and it complimented her perfectly. She actually looked like her in it.

I'd totally get married in a red dress. But right now I'm happy the weather's turned cold and I get to wear my Peruvian baby alpaca legwarmers. Woot Woot!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


A couple round of benefit fundraisers to help support friends health. Something I love about this place is how people down here can have a good time, open their wallets to help their fellow Key Westers.

I wonder why we still don't have universal healthcare. If people knew how good it feels to come together as a community and support their peeps in their time of need, maybe it would finally pass.

What a random day. A much needed massage, benefit fundraiser, watching a cook-off complete with what looked like a poop pie, a couple glasses of wine and feeling like I left my body for a bit.

I haven't seen my friend in a while and his delicate state shocks me. I'm used to grabbing a bunch of him when coming in for a hug, but now I feel his bones. I know he's ok, when I hear his cackle and see that familiar smile but its still hard.

As I head out and say goodbye, I ask him if he needs anything. "I need more of you" he says. So I hold his hand, hug and kiss him and tell him I love him.

I ask him if he's going to get some help but know he's going to do what he wants. He's got that famous Taurean stubbornness that we both share.

We chat about astrology and I tell him that Jupiter is in our sign and doesn't he know that its our year this year? "This is our year!" I declare and get the hearty cackle I love in return.

I feel the emotion well up and know I need to leave before he can see the tears. I haven't felt this way since I saw my grandma right before she passed and it suddenly hits me like a brick. Trying to contain it is futile because once it starts, its hard to stop. I think I'm doing a good job until it eventually spills out onto the restaurant counter surprising the waitress who asks me with concern if I'd like something stronger than water.

I smile through the tears and tell her I bought one of her dresses recently and its very pretty. She tells me what she's wearing is the latest and greatest. I've been wanting to compliment her on her clothing line but didn't expect to this way.There's no point in hiding how I actually feel, I've never been able to when the emotion is that strong.

It settles down a bit. I feel it out and then just hope I have some more time to let my friend know how much I love him and how special he is.