Thursday, January 27, 2011

Note to Self...

Do not watch 30 Rock the day before you schedule an eyebrow waxing.

Even with soothing Japanese flute songs playing in the background, I got an image in my head from last night's episode and started laughing on the table. I tried to swallow the laugh quickly and play it off cool.

I don't know what was more problematic. The almost loss of one eyebrow or having to tell the waxing technician that the thing that was suddenly so funny during our session was Tina Fey holding a bag of her favorite Cheeto-type snack "Cornholes".

Damn you Tina Fey!!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Best time of the day, always.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Turn that Police Frown Upside Down

Ok. Let me preface this story. So I am a dumbass.

It's cold and my beast of a car, which is currently being held together by rust, has one headlight out. It has for a while now. I have even been cited for said offense already once up the keys a summer ago. So as I debated to take the car for a roll tonight a couple blocks, I knew it was not a good idea.

Half a block up from my residence...I see a cop. Shit. I'm at a stop sign and he flashes his lights at me signaling, my one light out. I'm thinking, just roll with it. Give a wave - "Oh yeah, thanks for letting me go ahead". Yeah, um no.

Blue swirling lights go on. crap. I pull over.

Tonight's discussion is about how cool Key West cops can be and a 101 on how to get out of a ticket you already got.

I've had a friend or two that liked to mouth off to cops and the upside to this is it has taught me well - a basic "what NOT to do". I myself do not like to get in trouble with the law but have seen up close and personal how this all goes down. So let's begin tonight's lesson, shall we?

Step 1:
Look super happy and greet the police officer like a long lost friend. "Helloooooo Officer! How are you tonight?!". This disarms them because no one is happy to see a cop and most of the time they are dealing with jackasses.

Step 2:
Admit you did something wrong immediately. These guys are not stupid and by trying to lie to them you offend their intelligence. "Yes, I knew I needed to fix my headlight. I just haven't done it yet. Arrrrgh!" (insert unhappy clown frown here with a dash of shaken fist)

Step 3:
Go on the offense and outwardly offer everything. Your vehicle information, your driver's license, your outdated Geico card (Jesus, Mary and Joseph. crap. The latest version is at home around the corner.). If you offer to give it, you're helping them do their job. Another shock to the system. And the officer understands the outdated Geico card. He gets his late too. Who knew?

Step 4:
Bang your head with your hand while the officer takes all your information to his police car. Look to your right and see a cute young officer in training watching you pummel yourself as he waves with a sexy dimpled little smile. You stop hitting your head and wave back wondering the entire time: "When the force get so hot?" (This one I learned tonight).

Step 5:
Try to blind yourself while explaining yourself.

Officer: "Ok, there's one thing.
Me: "Yesss??"
Officer: "It says you should be wearing glasses."
Me: "Oh! I am! I mean I'm wearing contacts!" (pointing at but really poking your eye)
Officer (horrified): "Oh good God! Don't take your eye out!"
Me: "Whoops!"

Step 6:
Cool Key West officer smiles and tells you to go ahead even after you tell him you're going straight home to park this beast and walk. He tells you don't worry about it, go ahead and drive just get it fixed.

Yet another reason to love Key West.


Hi. I'm Pretty. Come a little closer.

Let me LOOOOoooooove you.

What is that red flashing light? What is that machine you hold? It's not right.

Your silly little games, that machine have exhausted me. Time for a nap.

This is Pretty. That's her name and she's awesome.

Christopher brings her by the restaurant from time to time. It's hard not to want to pet her even when you're wearing all black.

Oh Pretty...I love you so.

Monday, January 17, 2011


Floating. It's how I've been feeling lately.

What is floating? Well, it's when I feel light and like everything has flow. Basically it's when I'm just happy to be. I've had a couple instances this past week to remind me of the feeling of float.

Examples include:

Taking a paddle board tour out, having a great time with it and wishing I could do that more often. One week later getting a call asking me to lead up a new paddle board tour being offered. They're concerned with making sure I make enough money on it, I don't care cause I just want to be out there on a board.

While working at the restaurant I got an opportunity to discuss soldering and glass cutting techniques with the resident artist/designer who works on-site. He learned how to do it from old ladies on YouTube and is starting to build a cool glass door for the wine cooler with beautiful samples he found on Ebay. Lightning strikes when I realize that the restaurant is also an art studio which is quite possibly the best restaurant job I could have ever picked.

Meeting a complete stranger at the Parrot and having a great conversation about about books, history, writers and the possibility of learning how to play backgammon. Got to ask him about the origins of backgammon and use one of my most favorite words. There's not too many times I get to work "Mesopotamia" into a sentence but those days are sweet.

Riding around the compass on white street pier while getting rid of my stash of old bread. While circling and feeding the birds it started to feel like I was part of the flock. Smiled when I realized this is the feeling of what it would be like to fly. Pretty cool and even cooler when I noticed another guy enjoying it on his bike too.

Being in the grocery store grateful to pick out good food to eat. Realizing that even though I didn't want to cook that night, I no longer crave over-processed easy meals. Simple good stuff works and I like the way I feel taking care of myself. I do still like doughnuts and Oreos though. That will never change.

Being struck by beautiful things, taking pictures and figuring out why. The house up top is one I enjoy all the time. I was thinking to myself today about why this house always draws me in and wondering why. It's pretty plain but so beautiful and I like looking at it at different times of the day. Just as I was snapping away, the owner came out and asked if I wanted to buy it. I immediately said "I'd love to cause it has the best shadows." He laughed and I got my answer.

Having brainstorm sessions on my bike. Most of my creative thinking happens while riding on that blue cruiser. Below this post is an idea from today's office ride.

Don't know - Just got the feeling that all that re-wiring I had to do is working. Starting to plug in, feel the flow again and it feels good.

Business Idea of the Day

I love doughnuts.

I never thought I would find anyone who loved them as much as I did until Sunday. Rob, the artist who has designed most of the stuff in Santiagos brought some in and started talking about how he wished there was a good doughnut shop in town. Me too. I've got to get this idea out of my head so I can work on other things today.

So there's this awesome old mortuary building I ride past in Bahama Village. I say, make it a doughnut shop with an old school long bar where people can meet, have doughnuts, coffee and good conversation. Make a cremation oven in the front room by the bar that opens and plays spooky music when the doughnuts are done and ready to come out of the oven. Have them roll out on a long plank.

I'd call it Death by Doughnut. You could have skeletons hoola hooping in Doughnuts for T-shirts. I'm currently obsessed with skeletons and skulls so it feels good to apply it.

But it doesn't end there...Not only would it be the greatest doughnut shop in the world but whenever you would have sad times when visiting a real mortuary, you could get happy thinking of the doughnut shop. Sense of smell is one of the most powerful triggers so I'd also sell my doughnut smells to mortuaries as a way to alleviate loss of life pain during services.

Whew. Sometimes that stuff just needs to get out...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Can't get this out of my head (part 2)

I've heard this song several different times in my life and today it feels very poignant for some reason. It pretty much describes how I feel and I want to hear it over and over again.

The best version I've heard was in a bar in Chicago by a band whose lead singer sang it in a spacesuit with a bass player dressed as Chewbacca.

Enjoy and put your helmet on...

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Can't get this out of my head tonight.

Ray and Charles Eames.

This movie used to drive me crazy in school. Probably cause it was too much to take in. I used to hate it, now it's just plain awesome. It has so many meanings beyond the scientific jargon.

I think it was today's fog rolling in that triggered it.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A Good Day...

Was warm enough today to get in the water and grab a horseshoe crab so I could freak out my kayak tour.

Got carded at Fausto's while purchasing Oreos and Beer.

About to go for a staff wine tasting at Santiagos.

Grateful for my non-drama day jobs which I coincidentally really like. Holy crap, I don't think I've actually been able to say that in a little while - if ever.

A very good day, indeed.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2011 Intentions

Happy Solar Eclipse! - Seeds officially planted.