Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Swimming in Jello

I keep running into walls when I try to plan a big trip for this summer. It just has absolutely no zing. 

Ever feel like a routine you've gotten used to just got old? 

I'm seeing my typical summer dissolve right before my eyes. I've always worked my ass off in season so I could take a large trip in the summer. 

Last summer was different. It was just a week in Peru but that week felt like three months after recovering from the whole thing. This summer I was looking into some retreat action out in Hawaii or Costa Rica but my usual excitement for it just wasn't there. 

I thought, maybe Spain or Paris? Would that jumpstart the excitement? Nope. 

This year it feels like the work is here. Maybe I'll get out a bit here and there but I keep realizing its just here and I need to accept it. 

The in-season year for me has been one of fun and freedom. Normally I save that for off-season but I got into a goofy group, hanging with a select individual or two and went with it. It hasn't always been totally the healthiest option but I'm realizing I really needed to learn how to have fun again. It was severely lacking.

Things have gotten so serious over the past two years  that the lid blew off about 6 months ago and it hasn't wanted to go back on. I didn't want to think, I just wanted to do. So I did and learned a lot in the process. Now as my retarded fun time ends it begins to change into something new. Work time in the summer. Wha???

Not how I usually do it, but thinking what I needed to learn was how to live year round. Sounds so strange when you think of living in Key West but you do need to know how to make time for yourself and live. 

Focus on my work is up ahead and thats good. I'll sprinkle it with fun time cause I need that part just as much and it can't be contained to vacations anymore. Its got to be in my daily life too.

Funny how I complain about tourists who have to unload all their yearly crap in a two week vacation. Guess that's me too. Yikes.

I'm thinking instead of money spent on a big trip, its going to spent on scanners, framing and art supplies. Getting things set up so I can finally get things moving the way I need to. Stuff down here is beginning to feel a bit old and I know for a fact when that happens, it all starts to change. 

It feels a bit like swimming in jello. Suspension extreme with small movements in between. I'd like to change that and I guess the only way its going to happen is if I change first.

There's this astrologer I like and I've been thinking of getting a chart done. It really helped about a year ago and that's probably going to the first item spent which will be fun. Looks like this year it might be a staycation cause work time is about to kick off. And I'm ok with that. 

It's kinda like in the past, I waited for that two or three week vacation to release and be who I was. And now, I'm learning to do that all the time, everyday. 

So here comes yoga classes, pottery classes, drawing, painting, jumping off bridges, eating well, exploring the everglades, web design, locking my bike up to a stripper cage, and whatever else comes to mind. 

This finally feels right. 

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