Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sanity only costs $3.98

Let me introduce you to my newfound best friend. Lavender, oh how I love thee. Let me count the ways...

I started feeling really off the last few days. I chalked it up to exhaustion and maybe a bit too much end of the summer fun but it felt like more than that.

My ayahuasca sessions continue to unfold in real life as each month passes. I cannot believe its only been 3 months - it feels like a year.

Many of the lessons I learned in Peru, I learn here now and am continually grateful for. On one of those nights I spent talking to Mother Ayahuasca, I got a real gut check on things. Literally.

As we were chatting, I started to feel ill out of nowhere. This is not an uncommon thing for the experience as you usually have your own personal bucket "just in case" la purga hits. So while chatting to the soundtrack of painful groans in the room, I got the sudden urge to find my bucket and fast.

I went to grab it but was confused cause I didn't feel sick. While trying to figure that out, something came over me quickly and I decided it was time to wrap my hands around that beautiful yellow cracked gem.

As I was purging, I heard a voice clearly speak. "This is not yours."

"Oh my god, you're right. It's not." and with that realization, I stopped.

The painful feelings from somewhere in the room I took into my own body. Thus the feelings - the sickness were not my own. I never quite understood that feeling before but I sure as hell did now. Enlightenment found at the bottom of a bucket.

After hearing that voice, I kindly told her I was done and pushed the bucket away. And you know what? After realizing that, I never needed it again.

Fast forward to this week. I started feeling really uncomfortable. I'm generally a pretty happy person but some negative stuff started to engulf me and I suddenly felt swamped. The usual confusion started, but this time I knew what to do. I looked inward at what I was feeling and realized maybe it wasn't mine.

Two days of it seemed like enough torture and so I gathered all the tools that had been researched in the last week to combat it. One of which began with a special dish whipped up at the restaurant this week.

As our chef was preparing it, I looked on. A familiar scent drew my attention immediately and my gaze directed at the source. "Is that lavender?" I asked staring hungrily at the bowl of salt.

Oh yes, it was. And I had the strong urge to dive into that bowl.

Been reading a bit up on empaths after a conversation with a good friend who suggested I look into it. It's been interesting to read and there are a lot of forums on it. Many that help you to deal with "the gift". Two things that are on there? Salt and Lavender.

One thing I fallen in love with is epsom salt. It's become my cure all this year for aches and pains due to the physical work I do, but it's something more. I always feel so much calmer and sleep like a baby after an epsom salt bath. The easiest way for me to relax and get back to feeling like myself is a mere 15 minute soak.

Apparently lavender has the same effect. So in the past two days I've gone to Sugar Apple to get me some lavender soap and the home depot for some lavender plants. According to sources, it cleanses the negative energy you may inadvertantly pick up from others throughout the day. Think I'm crazy? Well, I'll tell you what, when I got that lavender soap home, I ripped open the top and once that smell it my nostrils, all swamping feeling stopped immediately. So onward and upward!

Today was a day for the depot. I picked up two lavender plants and then crossed the street to get two pots at Ross.

Funny I couldn't smell them when purchasing them at the depot, but the scent amplified upward as soon they were placed in the pots I was taking them home in. It was intoxicating happiness and a complete bargain for only $3.98.

It's so crazy. We as a society spend a ton of money on pills to make us better but really it's all in the plants. I can now add pharmacy and art supplies to purpose of my visits at the Depot.

Starting to realize that the more I know myself and what I need, the easier things are. It's a good place to be.

Oh Lavender, how I love thee.

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