Solar Power HOOOOOOOO!!

I have been dreaming of solar powered houses since the second grade science fair. Built one of those suckers with bendy straws and wanted one so badly. No one at the fair seemed to be too wowed by it.

Been waiting for it to happen and it looks like it might finally be time.

While researching some alternative energy mutual funds for my 2014 IRA contribution I came across one on solar I really liked. Then I saw this article.

Perfect timing! Now I just have to find that marijuana growing mutual fund and I'll be set for 2014.

When I went home this February I made an appointment to sit down with my ghost of a financial investment advisor. 

I had my account bounce around during the bank mergers of 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 and finally landed with this older stately dude whom I had never met. 

I wanted to scout him out and figure out if I could work with him so I set up a face to face. He was great to talk to and we had a nice chat which included me showing him funds I liked on my iPhone and asking him what he thought about them.  

Finally starting to take control of my retirement investments again and am finding its a lot of fun. 

After our meeting and agreeing to throw some cash for 2013 he asked me "What do you do again?"

"Oh, I give paddle board tours and wait tables at night."

"Huh." He said with a surprised look. Then we talked about kitesurfing and paddle boarding while sharing a cup o joe. 

A Good Weekend

A good couple of days off. Don't you love it when that happens?  

Went to the Tropic and caught a great movie last night about a secret street photographer who was made famous after her death by a man who bought a trunk of her negatives at an auction. 

Finding Vivian Maier.

Followed that up today with a yoga class on Energy Fields and Shamanic Cord Cutting taught by a tattoo artist who has studied with Peruvian shamans.

Getting my fix on all things odd and exciting.

Sometimes I really love this town...

Hoppy Easter!!

High five Jesus! 

Lots 'o interesting responses when you run a Jesus kite down the beach. 

In a town that lets it all hang out, somehow a Jesus kite is deemed distasteful. But they don't know, how fun it is to fly Jesus. 

Best. Kite. Ever. 

A gift from my bestie from Catholic school. It has officially become my favorite springtime ritual. 

Strength and Beauty

I sit down in the sand and let the waves crash into me like a crescendo. Each wave I feel myself sinking into the sand a bit more as I look at the rocks around me and grab one nearby. To my surprise, I flip the rock over and a beautiful shell is attached.

The color is vibrant. The lines intricate and beautiful. I can't believe what kind of beauty can turn up under a rock. I rub my fingers over and around several times then find a resting place for my thumb which seems like such a natural place for it to be. I close my hands around the rock and it is like a security blanket I never want to let go of. And all I feel at this moment with waves continuing to crash... is happy.

I think back to Sedona and the man who gave me a red stone heart on a special hike. He had told me to hold onto it and hold it close when things got tough. I think of that rock and this one and the feeling is similar but different.

I'm not in a state of running away, running to something or someone. I just am.

As I examine it closely I follow the lines, the curves, the color. How its melded so perfectly with the rock and I think - strength and beauty together as one. How perfect.

I've had to look at things differently this week. An eye allergy finally got me to go see the eye doctor. I woke up one morning wondering if I had taken my contacts out the night before. Was so tired that I thought I had left one in and proceeded to prod my eye thinking I'd find it. How could I not know if they were out?  Was I that out of it? That space/time thing is happening again as I woke yesterday wondering where I was and then trying to figure out which job I needed to be at. 

Its such an odd feeling but comforting to not be stuck in time. Sometimes I wonder if I travel too far when I sleep.

"You'll have to wear your glasses for a week and use drops" the doctor told me. I freak out aloud.

"But what about paddle boarding tours, yoga, painting and the restaurant??" I ask worried.

"Just exactly how many jobs DO you have?" she says.

So I get her to agree to knock a weeks worth of time into four days. I begrudgingly put on my glasses and leave the doctors office with sunlight streaming into my unsunglassed eyes. My sense of space is now really off and I almost hit a pole riding my bike out of the doctors office. Crap.

I feel like I'm on some kind of ride with the glasses. Things move, I have to adjust whipping my head around to dart across streets or just walking straight. Ugh. I feel vulnerable. 

I give up and go with it.

As I walk into the restaurant, most of the guys seem surprised and just widen their eyes and go "Glasses?" Yup, I've worn them since the fourth grade but I usually just save it for home or when my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of my skull from too much use. 

"Hmmmm. You look... interesting." 

I get this comment from my coffee guy at Sandy's and a co-worker. 

Ok. 

I feel like another person with the glasses on. I guess I thought I would have hid behind them more but something different happens. The inside comes out.

My inner nerd is now on display. It feels like how I think and process things internally can now be seen on my face. I get a long look in the eyes from many different men I know that night and during these past four days. 

Sometimes I feel like they are looking into my soul and I just stare back wondering what they are thinking. There is a vulnerability in those stares that I find charming. Much more charming than if I wore a tight dress showing off my ass. I'd rather wear glasses to get a mans attention.

How can they look at me this differently with just glasses? Why don't I get that look without them? I wonder.

I start to enjoy the glasses. Feel more open with them on and notice how many people actually wear them too. As I approach glass wearing tables, I feel like saying "Hey! I've got glasses too!" 

I realize its kinda like a bro-nod when we stare at each other through these optics and silently say "What's up, yo?". I feel a comradery saluting their inner nerd with my inner nerd. It feels kinda awesome. 

I try yoga without them. I have to really focus and listen since I can't see much and wonder if people think I'm staring like a psycho at them. When in reality I'm just trying to focus on one non-moving blob so I can find balance to do different poses. Doing a headstand without vision is kinda wobbly.

Swimming is a whole other carnival ride as my balance is already off and bobbing in the blurry water must feel like what it is to be a fetus. I get out of the water feeling motion sick but have a fellow beach goer point out some dolphins swimming near shore. I slap those puppies back on my face and enjoy.

Kayak tour and its time to brave it in the water and hope they don't fall off. Will I be able to find things to pick up? Will they think I need to be smarter with the glasses and my random "scientific" commentary will be found out as a load of bullshit?

Also have to mentally remember I don't have sunglasses on and I cannot do my early morning eye-roll when someone makes an idiot out of themselves. Um, yeah they can see that. Crap, no hiding behind the screen. Vulnerability again.

And then finally back to the doctor. I need to take care of my eyes better - give them a rest from time to time. Maybe get some new glasses so I can salute my inner nerd more often and give those peepers a break. Kinda like that idea and already start scouting out new frames to celebrate.

The doctor asks me if I want to leave with contacts in. I shake my head with my mouth open like a begging dog. I like the glasses but want more mobility back especially in yoga class. She plops them in and suggests I get some additional over the counter drops for more eye soothing maintenance.

As I go into the store, I raise my sunglasses off my face and feel exposed again. Like the first time I put on my glasses outside. 

I get a stare. Its the stare I was getting all week but without those spectacles and am a bit surprised. 

Huh, maybe I never noticed it before. 

Cleaning House

Its been all about cleaning house lately. 

A checklist of sorts to clear the decks, get things in order and go full steam ahead. 

Passing online Utah driving school to get rid of my pesky road trip ticket - check.

Filing my taxes and calculating my quarterly amounts to pay as I go. - check.

Getting into a confrontation with a co-worker while speaking the plain truth about his ongoing shitty behavior. Him flipping out to the point of quitting or getting fired within a day. And having another co-worker thank me for it. - check.

Buying a couple more pairs of yoga hot pants including one pair that has two unicorn heads coming out of my legs on the back - check.

Is it time to go to Bali yet?