Rain Frog

Reading, listening to the rain and painting frog.

Had a great yoga practice this morning too with the new teacher / shaman at the studio.

Happy Full Moon. Happy Lunar Eclipse.

Time to shake the leaves...

Riding the waves

As I ride the waves of final approval, I watch the condo die only to be resurrected a mere 2 hours later.

I want clarity. I want finality. I can't get either. 

I also decide to email my landlord cause I'm tired of playing chicken with my lease renewal. Let him know what's up and he's really good about it which I was not expecting.

So ready for this to be done... Its like a relationship that you keep going back into to see if it'll work this way. Or that way. Or this way. Or maybe that way.

How do people do this multiple times??? I guess it gets easier. Buying a house is a rollercoaster of paperwork and emotions. 

So I look at clouds... Big fluffy clouds.

And go for floats in the ocean to calm my nerves. Home is an important sanctuary for me. I like to know where I'm rooted.

Starting to realize home is really no place in particular. Its just you. So either way, it'll all work out the way its supposed to.

Don't Push

Found this gem written on the yoga studio door today:

"Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax.

If you relax it comes, if you relax it is there. 

If you relax, you start vibrating with it."

- Osho

We find what we are looking for in the perfect moment, no?

A little rain shower and impromptu Indian lunch with my fave yogis too. And coffee. Just what I needed to push through the next two shifts.

I am...

I am the frog king.

Made me laugh out loud after I finished drawing it

Ribbit! Ribbit!

Just Say No

Buttered popcorn at the movies is never a good idea. Especially when you realize the strange look Judy Blume gave you while exiting the theater was the stain left on your dress from devouring the bag.

#impressingbelovedchildhoodauthorfail

Condo under contract again. Decided to pass by it to see what the dusk light looked like in the hood. Not too shabby. Enjoyed the pink purple clouds along the way.

Bike commute time to theater is also acceptable.

Happy Sunday...

The Final Countdown

And, Here comes the condo again...

The final round! For reals!

My real estate guy asked me to call this dude after the last no. The only reason I called was cause I love my real estate guy and thought if he had a contact the least I could do was call.

I now have a hybrid of mortgage broker that contains the trustworthy banker combined with the speed of "smoke and mirrors". 

One lengthy phone conversation on my bike to the beach and I was able to get all the info I needed and felt I could trust him. 

Got to also tell him exactly what I was looking for which I had no clue when I started this whole thing. "Loan Speed Dating 101 - What have we learned so far?" is in full effect.

I've tried to give it up three times now. Someone reaaaally wants me to get this. Wonder if its Grandma? Does she want to swim in my pool???

Stay tuned...Another signed contract. 

In the meantime I will go out for bubbles dreaming of HGTV.

And a pug in a taco suit.

The symbol of victory!

Feelin' Grateful

Man. When I crash, I crash.

Ever feel like you are moving something out of your body when you get sick? That's what it felt like and rest was the only remedy.

Lost my voice for about three days too. That happens a lot for me when something big is shifting but feel so much better. Clear.

And feeling really grateful. 

Grateful not to be sick anymore and back at yoga again. I realize I can't really sit still for more than a week. Movement is what I crave in all forms.

Grateful to get back in the water for a swim and meet up with my beach buddies. One even asked if I'd like to learn how to sail! Didn't know how much I missed boat life until she talked about working some sunset sails. I just might get another boat gig. I love that I'm picking jobs now based on personal interest and wanting to learn something new.

Grateful for my job and work families. We had someone get run over on a scooter and everyone has stepped up to help without even asking. In the restaurant world this kind of healthy work environment...is rare. Who am I kidding, any type of work environment.

Grateful for European holiday ending. After a rash of high maintenance, chain smoking, non-tipping Europeans last week. Local special is in full effect and I've never been so happy to see people who live here at the restaurant.

Grateful to not be afraid to show my art. Sold a couple more pieces to an art consultant at Wyland and fellow yogi I love. Didn't blink an eye when someone asked for a piece to auction off at a fundraiser. It used to take a long time to build up courage just to show someone my art.

Grateful for my home. Got a new neighbor and even though he scared the crap out of me introducing himself while asking to share my wi-fi - he's super quiet. The last one had a cute grandkid that liked to scream for hours on end. Most days it sounded like a cat getting skinned beneath me.

Grateful for letting go. 

This one I'm realizing has sunk in well. The day after I decided to let the condo go, it reappeared just as I was cashing my escrow check. 

The lady who owned it was upping the insurance to fix the problem I had with the bank. Did I still want to buy?

I at first got frustrated. Why can't it just go??? I don't want to get my hopes up again and see them crash. AGAIN.

It seems another round has been added. Talking to banks again but its truly out of my hands as the insurance was upped and needs to be reassessed. And there is a little release in that.

Just got the first feedback which was again, NO. There might be other options cause my real estate agent wants me to buy but I'm trusting that all will work out the right way. But I'm fine. and calm.

If its meant to be, its meant to be. 

And if its not, something else better is out there for me to find. As I've seen over the last 10 years down here, when things don't work out the way you think - its a blessing. And something new appears that you could have never imagined fit you so right.

I actually believe this too. No pushing. No pining away for something I can't have. I'm ready to move on cause there's a plan.

A perfect plan I know will just unfold as I stay present. How many years have I been saying this? But it actually is being felt and trusted for what might be the first time.

Guess we all need a couple rounds to figure stuff out. Energetically they say when your vibration rises whatever is lurking in your system that is lower will get expelled out.

I'd like to think that all that snot and phlegm last weekend was a goodbye of sorts. 

Looking forward into the new season and seeing what develops.