Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Final Rinse

Hurricane Issac is on the way and all I can think of is what a bookend of sorts. 

Let me back up. When I first got down here Hurricane Wilma was on the warpath. No one thought it would be as bad as it was as she ripped across the island blowing things to and fro. At the time it accurately mirrored how I felt. 

About 7 years ago, life as I knew it was done. Adulthood unhinged. Everything I thought my life was going to be was now an afterthought.

Unhappy and stuck it took one fateful break up to finally unstick what I had tried to keep together for too long. As that hurricane washed everything away, I felt like my own life was getting the same treatment and a chance to start over.

Finally leave corporate life, a relationship that sucked me dry, cities that never really fit and a nagging feeling in my gut that I should be doing something else. All in all it was a life I had created based on what I thought I should do. Not what I wanted to. 

To be quite fair, I really didn't know back then what I wanted. I had glimmers of it in my mind but fear always kept me from exploring. 

After traversing down to mile 0, I landed with a carload of belongings and nothing to lose. 

Stepping out of your comfort zone is a hell of a lot easier when you're already at ground zero or mile zero, so to speak. There's nowhere to go but up. Looking back its these breakthrough moments that have been the hardest and most rewarding in my life.

So while at the Parrot last night I get word that we're on track to meet Issac. And I learn of Issac's impending doom while I'm cleaning up something else, a friendly relationship on the wrong track. For me at least. 

Its not messy and I've been grateful for what I've experienced but this time I know what I want and easily explain that this is done. I want to go for it all and as fun as its been, this is not it.

This year I've been feeling like clicking along, getting the training wheels going on this life I've been building since I got down here. It feels so natural now but there have been bumps and bruises along the way. Part of the learning process I've grown to accept and appreciate.

Its been worth it. Great place to live in, good jobs to go to, great friends to hang with and creating art that I'm not afraid to put out there anymore. Above all, knowing that I create the life I want and its all possible. 

So I look at this hurricane and instead of fear...I get excited. 

I believe this is the final rinse to a 7 year journey. 

That's right, one more rinse and spin cycle to go after a laborious 7 year laundering. A final cleansing of sorts and I'm ready. 

Ready to receive it all.  

No comments:

Post a Comment