Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Poops

I was thinking today how random it must be to have someone searching for information about Key West and find this blog. Especially with what is on it lately.

I can almost hear, "I just want to find out where the nude beaches are, what's all this stuff about chemo??"

Well, that's where I'm at these days. I guess its grief or perhaps a bit of the blues. 

Its had me weepy and delirously goofy to who gives a fuck, irritable and grateful. Mom doesn't have it too bad but its still hard to think about her going through it. And its really hard hearing the suffering in both your parents voices over the phone and feeling a bit helpless to relieve it.

Trying to send good thoughts to her, chat often and keep my head and heart together. Plan a trip back really soon.

Went to yoga today to get my body tuned and opened up. That always works but I settled into some sadness later in the day. It happens and I need to just let it be cause if I stuff it away it does no good. I try to keep remembering that.

Started thinking of my trip to Sedona and the guy who gave me the stone heart on my hike. I remember him telling me when things got tough, to hold it close to my heart to remember that place. 

When he told me that, I knew I would need it someday. I carry it with me always in my bag, its become a security thing I feel better having it around. Today I pulled it out and did what he told me to do.

Its not all bad, it just is. If you are someone I don't know reading this blog, you may want to escape. Either a trip or lifetime away from your worries. Its how a lot of us end up down here. I used to do it a lot. 

But the thing is, your life is you. And you can't escape that. Even when it hurts. 

I will admit it is a lot easier when the sun is shining and the birds are singing. But it can still follow you like a shadow. Something I felt when I got teary on my ride through Old Town today. 

But then there were some things to pull me out of it. Lately its been people. People I wait on, people I work with, people I've shared some good times with and people I don't really know.

Example #1:

My manager at work sending me a literal shit storm of emoticons today after I sent him a text message back containing one steaming poop, an explosion and a monkey covering his nose. I think that sequence hit a nerve.

At work we have all enjoyed the poop icon lately and he sent me a million poops today cause that note I sent him was to rub in the fact that at least once a week someone shits so violently at the restaurant its beyond human comprehension. And its usually right after he cleans the toilet. 

Its hard to feel crappy when someone is sending you a steaming poop with a smile on it. Or when your phone is dinging every minute because he has sent you a million of them.

Example #2:

Saturday night after meeting my sister for a drink we went down to a local bar for her Fireball promotional party night. A shot shindig she had put together for promoting a whisky beverage she reps. A shotski of four came calling around as we laughed while wrangling up takers with Whitney Houston playing in the background. 

Suddenly a drag queen came downstairs to tell us Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys was upstairs and they'd get him to do a Shotski of Fireball.  It's once in a blue moon you see Nick Carter bookended by two drag queens doing a shot of Fireball but those days are pretty sweet. 

Example #3

Or the lady I met when I stopped to pet her mini horse Alfie. She and Alfie had just been kicked out of the Hampton Inn and were looking for a new place to stay. Preferably one that would let him graze.

She said she liked him to sit in her lap. He was a lap horse. The quote of the day came when she mentioned that she was about to cut his balls off and how excited she was cause a farmer told her he'd be more friendly after that.

I think the poop icon wins.

So there have it (thank you Key West). 

Mostly its been people. People I know, people I don't know. People I've had contact me through this blog to share their experiences with it all and its just been the right thing at the right time.

Everyone has their shit but if we can share and reach out, our lives become a little bit easier. Hoping that writing this stuff out helps me along in that process.

In the meantime, I'm gonna go find some more emotioncons.

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