2013 Intentions

Intentions set. Laundry folded. Grocery stocked. Packing done.

Ready for the next round.

Here. Comes. 2013.

Even got rid of some old stuff at the Salvation Army to boot. Feels good. 

Two Chuckles

I had two good chuckles this morning. 

Once when I saw your profession listed in the top 10 professions for psychopaths. And another when just a mere hour later, I was witness to another round of your sketchy behavior. 

My, my, my... you're so friendly when you're alone. Wonder why??? Ah, such is life. 

Learned a lot from my time with you. Biggest thing...I deserve waaaaay better. Always have.

The holidays have passed, thank goodness. What a crazy time down here. Is it wrong to excited when people are bumming cause they have to go back to work?

Busy, wonderful ho ho holidays but afterwards, all I wanted to do was sleep for three days. And pretty much did. Holy. Holiday. Exhaustion. It happens every year always quite a ride.

The dreams have been intense and four-parters. The other night I was swimming with a whale and stepping on shells that began closing up on the bottoms of my feet. I woke up actually feeling lots of little shells tickling me which was crazy.

Then last night was having a vegetarian meal with the lead singer of the Revivalists. Right after, I got chased by people with guns trying to hunt me down. All I woke up thinking was Jeez, that dude really liked capers and lentils. A LOT.

The exhaustion has been worth it and perfect timing to go home later this week. Glad to get out of town but not necessarily under the conditions I'd like. Cancer has reared its ugly head a second time for Mom.

The good news - she has great doctors and health care. Not too many people can claim that these days.

The first time she had breast cancer it was awful. On many fronts, just plain awful. This time around, we go into it with eyes wide open and bringing a sense of humor about it cause doom and gloom does no good for anyone. Can cancer be funny? We shall see.

Optimism, hope and love. That's where I'm trying to stay. The Red Tara mantra will help with that. 

The first time, it was such an implosion that got me to finally make some big changes. No more waiting. Was it any surprise that I had a roller coaster emotion scale after hearing about it? A little.

Buried anger bubbling up, crying, excessive bar crawling and of course good ole denial. Perhaps it was stuff that never got fully processed in the first go round. Perhaps it was stuff I wouldn't let myself feel the last time but will now.

Before she got diagnosed I'd been thinking that time is limited. I need to get home. Guess sometimes you just sense it.

I even picked up a book right after about a lady's solo trek along the Pacific Coast trail. Little did I know that it began with her mother dying of cancer and how her life unraveled afterwards. I booked my ticket by the second slobbery chapter.

The last time this happened it was a big kick in the pants. This time, I'm not sure...but the timing is interesting.

Lately I've been thinking I have more to do outside of Key West but not really sure what. Is my time in Key West limited? Did I just need to come down here to break out of my boxed in life to see that you don't need to live boxed in? Can I take this elsewhere? All things going through my head lately. Probably trying to put off the inevitable, which is sitting in a hospital on Monday morning hoping everything is going to be ok.

But for now - laundry, packing, grocery shopping, 2013 intention setting and possibly a little painting.

Thanks 2012

Dear 2012, 

You taught me lots of stuff. Mostly how to play, put away the past and see the importance of my place in the present. 

I really do have everything I need.

Now, one last tourist push and then a much needed break from the holidays. 

Come on 2013! Happy New Year

End of the World. Day Two.

Is it just me or does everything seem brighter today?

Put your hands on the wheel. 

Let the Golden Age begin....

Led Zeppelin and Brain Scan

Reason #1001 to love this town.

Got off work and heard there was a good Led Zeppelin band playing at the Parrot. 

they. were. AWESOME.

Zoso is their name and it was a flashback to the 70's complete with double headed guitars and big hair. People were loving it.

Then I saw this guy outside setting up so I ran out.

"Can you scan me?!" I asked.

I've seen him scan people's auras but this time he was doing brain scans. He handed me a helmet and then an x-ray print out of my skull. 

I immediately got Fernando to try it and told the scan dude Fern was a Scientologist. A real Thetan. As he handed Fern the picture we both started laughing cause it was an alien head.

So awesome. Love my random Friday night after work. 

Almost there

Spanish Goat coming along nicely. Really love the weirdness coming out of it. 

Speaking of weird, been a strange week for sure. I imagine its just the start of this holiday season.

God bless paint and pictures.

Oy vey

How do you tell your friend that you burned a portrait he did of you? After a couple of martini's, wine and it goes a little like this:

Me: "Eric. Eric, I have to tell you something about that painting you gave me."

Eric: "You burned it."

Me: "Yes! How did you know?"

Eric: "Wait, what? You burned it???"

I had been wanting to tell him for over a year but how exactly do you begin that conversation? Drinks.

It was a snapshot he took of me before I was going in to work at a restaurant on Duval that I loathed working at. I was miserable counting down the minutes before having to go in. He captured it perfectly and did a portrait which he eventually gave to me. The title was "Friday"

At first, I loved it and thought it was an awesome gesture but then... Something about it just held this person I was no longer and it had a lot of pain in it. So I got the notion of releasing it, me, and that meant burning it. But who burns a friends painting? Me.

Surprisingly, Eric took it very well and as a compliment. He told me he was going to run with that and tell everyone. 

As we told a few people at the bar what I did, they looked at me in disgust. I told him I didn't care about what anyone thought cause it needed to be done but I did care about him getting upset. Something told me he'd be ok with it and he was. He loved it in fact.

I swear I can't believe he can understand or put up with me. Must be why he was the first person I met in Key West, it was fate. You find those kind of friends exactly when you need them.

Try Again

Been talking with an interesting glass sculptor the last few days and actually got to see him in action via video. It was crazy. Huge oven, blowtorch, team of people helping, and heavy duty fire gear. 

Its fast, furious and can give you third degree burns. 

He told me after all that work and passion, just when you think you've finished, it can shatter into a million pieces right in front of you. But then you try again. 

Reminds me of everyday life.