Monday, May 18, 2015

The Illusion is Outside

Yesterday when trying to unwind from the restaurant the night before, I received the most clarifying message at the beach.

A crowded ft zach scene with cruise shippers filing in is usually my cue to go. 

But I did a few sitting stretches since I missed yoga due to pure energetic exhaustion the night before. As people started to crowd my space further, I just closed my eyes and breathed.

Full inhale. Full exhale. Full inhale. Full exhale.

I felt the grounding through the earth on the exhale and expansion out of the top of my head on the inhale. Even saw the energy wind up and down intersecting at points like a DNA strand. 

With eyes closed, everything felt so calm. So clear. So whole.

I slowly opened my eyes and that began to shift as form slowly unfolded. My eyes now grasped onto the visuals in front of me and the activity crossing my sight. The connection I had quickly turned to static. 

And this is what came to mind:

The illusion is whats outside of us. The reality is within.

All this external crap doesn't matter. Its just a bunch of static. Distracting you from all that you already know is true. 

With that simple thought a whole host of things flooded in my mind and I was at such peace on the bike ride home. I wanted more so I went back to the water this morning to do some yoga.

Been stressing a little bit about teaching. Feeling pushed by others to do it but not really wanting to teach yet. 

Its always been a mind fuck about how to choreograph and present a class but this morning I just did poses that felt right in the moment. My favorite sea grapes above me and soothing water in front it was just what I needed.

Yoga for me is just about connecting to my internal energy and moving it around to balance stuff out. 

Didn't worry about what a full class would look like this morning. Instead I just moved and it felt good. As a bonus, I got to take a swim after. 

I think its a new moon today. Usually that means setting intentions for what you want your life to be or what you want. It didn't feel right asking for things. Instead it was just about feeling grateful. And that gratitude is what I thought of when I went under the water.

Grateful for my life. Grateful for everything that has happened up to this point. Grateful for how much has shifted in the 10 years I've been here. Grateful for the change that keeps happening even if it exhausts me at times. 

My minds been a jumble the last week or two. A lot of old stuff wrapping up I realize after talking to two good friends who just happened to show up right as I was finishing up my practice. 

I feel so much more aligned to who I truly am and am looking forward to taking that into a new era. Excited for what it will bring in and the simple knowing that I already have everything I need.

Happy New Moon....

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